The Real Punk'd, hosted by Your Life

MTV’s show Punk’d puts celebrities in the elaborate pranks to push them over the edge, stressing the victims past their normal demeanor. One particularly memorable show had Justin Timberlake on the verge of tears, calling his mom because he thought the IRS was repossessing all his possessions for failure to pay taxes. It is hilarious when we are the ones behind the safety glass of our TVs. For the victim, when they find out "You’ve just been Punk’d" lots of emotions are flying.

Life is not a TV show. Life is not staged with actors and fake scenarios. However, the true mark of a person is how he/she reacts to life. Are you more of the zen monk who just shrugs this off, or a pre-tensioned coil of eruptive emotions?

I usually am mid-ground on the spectrum of reactivity, yet things arise that mash my buttons. In early March, I receive a phone call from a client saying he’s lost a bit of faith in my engineering abilities due to an issue a year ago. The issue took some time to analyze, yet today the problem is not anymore.

Unfortunately, after hearing a disparaging remark, I reacted like the space shuttle at T-minus 6.6 seconds. My self-defense engines clicked on. I was seconds away from solid rocket booster ignition of my ire. His comment was an unexpected knife coated with boiling acid to my back. With my defenses up, I managed to stay cool enough to not get my firm ousted from the team, yet I was far from my most eloquent. I still felt the anger after I hung up the phone. I was a mental mess, swirling with bad emotions.

I wished someone had popped into my office to say, "Ha! You’ve just been Punk’d." That would have ameliorated the pressure cooker in my head. So there I was without a release, stewing in the aftershock of a side comment.

After the day ended, I realized that, in fact, life had Punk’d me. Ashton Kutcher didn’t walk up pointing and laughing at me, yet the little demons in my head were having a mockery of a gala on my tab. They had pushed me to outside of my normal staid demeanor.

As I drove home, I realized that I had all the control in the world over my reaction. I could have calmly replied with "yes, that issue was unexpected, yet as you see today, we as a team solved the matter. That’s what I appreciated, was your working with me to satisfy the client."

There’s a Scrappy-Doo in all of us, ready to fight at first whiff of a threat. As a type-A personality, I understand both sides of pride.

What if I had paused, took a deep breathe to calm myself, suspiciously look out the corner of my eye for the Punk'd cameras, and smiled one of those knowing "OK, when’s Ashton gonna come out?" smiles. It would have helped me to keep my cool, keep level-minded, and definitely stopped the countdown at T-minus 7-seconds before my self-defense mechanisms started.

Here’s a super nova thought: just think of the bad things in life as an episode of Punk’d. Realize that you’ll get over it when the proverbial host, your reasoning logic problem solving mind, walks in to take all the perceived dangers away. You are a genius. You have unlimited capacity to solve problems, build relationships, and lead with your stellar example.

Just remember when your irate meter is nearing the red zone, start looking around, and repeat to yourself "OK, Ashton, come on out baby. You’re not gonna Punk me today."

Help us all learn: what’s your trick to not get hyper-emotional in a tough situation?

Better than First Impressions: The Pa-Pow! Introduction

There is no equal to the first impression. However, there is a stronger key element that happens in many instances prior to you offering a hand shake. It's the introduction of you by a friend/colleague to the new potential client, employer, or even spouse.

How do your friends introduce you? Fair is fair, so I'll also ask how do you introduce your friends? Do you manage the simple, "This is Solange." If introductions were a building, that is the bare minimum ground floor. Where is your top floor penthouse level of introduction?

I have a land-use, real estate transaction lawyer friend. I love him because he's always helping me network, introducing me to his clients who may need my engineering services. Terry introduces me as "Yes, this is Solange, the best civil engineer in town. She's won the Engineer of the Year award for Central Florida." Terry is the master at pumping up his friends with coronation-style introductions. He doesn't lie, I did get the honor of young engineer of the year.... in 2000. For Terry, he believes in my skills thus portrays me as the best.

It is time we remember to pumped each other up. It simply takes is a few adjectives like best, awesome, dedicated, ingenious, motivated, influential... you get the drift of the Pa-Pow! introductory method.

We are not fostering lies. Yet there's nothing wrong with embellishing the truth. A quick story on livening up the truth for the sake of emphasis is my ski friend Jim H. I love to ski thus lead a ski trips for the Orlando Ski Club to Steamboat, CO. Our airport transfer bus pulled up to the lodge around 1pm. Jim, giving his roommate his luggage, jumped off the bus, and headed straight to the slopes for the last 3-hrs of the day. Everyday, Jim skiied from first chair lift up to last tracks down the mountain. He loved skiing. When I saw Jim a few months after our week-long ski trip ended, I introduced Jim as "the only man I know who can ski eight days on a 7-day ski trip!" Now, that's a guy who loves skiing.

Remember to be a gracious acceptor of the Pa-Pow! introduction. Thank your complimentor with a likewise statement of his/her abilities (i.e. "I have to be the best to keep up with the most influential lawyer in town."). Shake hands with your new acquaintance and smile, for your first impression has already been brought up several notches by the Pa-Pow! introduction.

Help us all learn thru your comments: if I were to introduce you, what would you want me to say?