You Are Allowed to Forget

Often I am asked by my audiences why they are not achieving their goals. In the years of discussing this topic, a prevailing theme arises. They cannot forget their past mistakes, their past circumstance, or their past dysfunctional relationships. One of the rules I teach is the past and even current circumstances have no bearing on your future.

I once heard a wise statement from a highly successful NFL coach about that the best ability he finds in a wide receiver. He looked straight into the reporters eyes and said his ability to forget the last play, especially when he dropped the pass.

Forgetting is essential to success. It does not matter how poor you are now. It does not matter that you did not get a higher education. It does not matter that you have a zero-supportive family.

Here are the facts today. You want a better life. You are willing to work towards a better life. You will not be deterred. That is all you need to win.

There are 2.5 million millionaires in the US of which the majority are first generation rich. That means no trust funds, no golden brick road laid before them. The majority earned their wealth. The self-made millionaire believes in her/his own abilities. They also believe that their background is no indicator of their future.

Achieving is about mind control. Imagine a NBA player at the free throw line. The crowd is booing him. Opposing fans behind the basket wave their arms, have loud noisemakers, and jeer "you suck." The professional athlete is not deterred from his objective. A minute later, two baskets drop, and he's proven himself a champion again.

Your past can be the annoy background ready to distract you if you give it any attention. Ever have that family member or friend sit across the dining table telling you "you're stupid if you think you will be better than anyone else." Ignore, forget, and move on.

Instead of sitting on the negative circumstances, focus on the lesson which you had to learn. Perhaps the lesson from the unsupportive friend is not to share your future aspirations with that person. The blessing of the knowledge the mistake brought to your attention. Log that lesson so you won't do it again, then move on. This applies to test taking, romantic relationships, friendships, sports, investments, and even conversations/email/txt.

Those who cannot move on are willfully handcuffing themselves to the past. Paraphrasing Einstein's wisest words: you cannot use the same thinking that created the problem/situation to get out of it. Our challenge is to find new ways to approach familiar situations like a debt, bad relationship decisions, dietary choices, or a negative parent/friend/boss.

Forget and forgive those with whom you had negative interactions. Forgive yourself for any mistakes as well. Today is a new chance for small steps of change. A simple decision such as I will keep my calm can start a chain reaction of bigger positive change. Your selective attention to the past as well as present is a skill to master.

Think of a hot stove. You burnt your finger once. You didn't stop using the stove. Lesson logged, moving on.

You are a different person from yesterday. If your mind only holds one thought pattern at a time, hold the ones which bring joy and positive feelings about reaching your life goals. Give yourself a license to forget the negative.